{"id":1912,"date":"2023-11-13T05:57:00","date_gmt":"2023-11-13T10:57:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/lorihatcher.com\/?p=1912"},"modified":"2023-12-03T21:04:10","modified_gmt":"2023-12-04T02:04:10","slug":"11-simple-ways-to-cope-when-grief-and-loss-wreck-your-holiday-season","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lorihatcher.com\/?p=1912","title":{"rendered":"11 Simple Ways to Cope When Grief and Loss Interrupt Your Holiday Season"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Today I\u2019d like to introduce my friend Marilyn Nutter. Marilyn has walked a path many of you have walked\u2014the path of grief. Today she shares with us how to navigate the holidays when you\u2019re grieving. But Marilyn\u2019s help doesn\u2019t stop here, because grief doesn\u2019t limit itself to the holidays\u2014it\u2019s the unwanted gift that keeps on giving. Scroll to the bottom to read more about her newest book, Hope for Widows<\/em><\/a>, releasing soon, but available for pre-order now. Grab a copy for yourself or someone you love who\u2019s wrestling with grief and struggling to find the new normal after loss.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Grief and Loss Wreck Your Holiday Season<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

By Marilyn Nutter<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Christmas cards with family photos, invitations to holiday parties, and cookie baking- fun, food, and festivity mark the season. Faces erupt with delight when a knock at the door signals arrival of family who travel distances to be together at Christmas. We love meet-ups -that is- until we don\u2019t. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief and loss during the holiday season are meet-ups that are unplanned, uninvited, and unwelcome. They not only make an appearance, but stay for an extended visit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Grief and holidays awkwardly occupy the same space, irrespective of a holiday. When a widow signs a single name on a card to her grandchildren, loss is front and center. Sounds of Christmas music echo in stores, energizing and encouraging shoppers to \u201cget into the Christmas spirit,\u201d but for grievers, the melodies and lyrics are harsh and painful. The empty chair at the dinner table and fewer gifts under the tree announce, \u201che isn\u2019t here.\u201d Decorations and dazzling lights, rather than sparkle, become a glare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How do grievers manage and even find joy when we meet holidays?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

My husband suffered a fatal heart attack two days before Christmas while we were out west with family. Less than twenty-four hours later, the calendar proclaimed  Christmas Eve. The next day Christmas morning appeared, right on schedule. For the sake of grandchildren ages five and seven, and by God\u2019s grace, we went through the motions of opening gifts. As we look back at images frozen in print, we held beautifully wrapped gifts, but we were numb. Our eyes told the story of sadness. The red eyes remained, untouched by filters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Through my experiences meeting holidays now for eleven years, I want to offer hope that grief changes shape and intensity. You won’t always feel the way you do today. The person you love remains absent, but the pain is less and tears are fewer. God wires us this way. We don\u2019t remain numb. We still miss our person, but move forward in life in our individual timing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just as we are uniquely created, and our grief is as individual as snowflakes, our approach to holidays is personal. Our needs and personalities are different, family traditions, dynamics, and ways of observing holidays are different. Love languages- how we offer and receive love with friends and family- are different. There is no one size fits all in living, grief, or holidays. We cannot compare our holiday or grief experiences with anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So the question comes, how will I choose to observe, remember, and yes, even celebrate? In my grief and mourning, and by drawing from experiences of friends who have also lost a spouse, these surfaced in our conversations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

11 Simple Ways to Cope<\/h2>\n\n\n\n