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<\/figure>\n\n\n\n<\/a>Today, as I walked my neighborhood in the pre-dawn hours, I saw a powerful illustration of why. In the \u201880s, a \u201cnew\u201d tree came on the scene \u2013 the Bradford pear. Cultivated for its beautiful, flame-shaped branches and rapid growth, it quickly became the landscapers\u2019 favorite. Developers lined entrances to subdivisions with long rows of them, and every yard had at least one. When they flowered in early spring, their white blooms were breathtaking. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Unfortunately, after about 20 years, the trees began showing signs of serious structural problems.<\/strong>\u00a0The long branches that created such a beautiful shape grew too heavy for the trunk to support them. Wind, rain, or simply the weight of its leaves caused the trees to split in half, destroying the tree.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n Something similar often happens in our marriages. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Like the Bradford Pear trees that so charmed the landscapers, our marriages start out beautiful. Their branches begin to grow and bear fruit. They mature. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But in some marriages, the longer a couple is together, the further they grow from each other. Before long, they begin to separate. Each year brings them futher and further from each other. By the time the empty nest years roll around, they\u2019re so far apart they have nothing in common. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A storm, a crisis, or the weight of day-to-day life takes its toll, and the marriage splits. <\/strong> 1. Cultivate at least one shared experience without the kids.<\/strong> Even if it\u2019s only once a month, do something fun you both enjoy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 2. Attend church together. <\/strong>Studies still show<\/a> committed Christians have a lower than average divorce rate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 3. Put your marriage ahead of your kids.<\/strong> Studies also show the best thing you can do to help your children grow up happy, healthy, and well-adjusted is to stay married. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 4. Invest in your marriage.<\/strong> We don\u2019t think twice about paying for summer camps, music lessons, and a myriad of other \u201cnecessities\u201d for our children, but we balk at the cost of a weekend marriage retreat or getaway. When your child is 25, he\u2019s not going to thank you for the archery lessons in fifth grade. He\u2019s going to thank you for staying married when all his friends\u2019 parents divorced. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 5. Be the first to say \u201cI\u2019m sorry.\u201d <\/strong>No disagreement is all one person\u2019s fault. Be the bigger person. Apologize for your part, and tell your spouse you love them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 6. Participate in a marriage Bible study.<\/strong> Another way to invest in your marriage, learning from wise teachers alongside other people committed to growing their marriages will help you not be lazy in your most important human relationship. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 7. Say please and thank you. <\/strong>Treat your spouse with the same respect you\u2019d treat a stranger. Don\u2019t forget the common courtesies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 8. Tell him what you like about him.<\/strong> When you were dating, you told him all the time how handsome, smart, and funny he was. Why stop now that you\u2019re married? We all enjoy a sincere compliment every now and then. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 9. Pray together.<\/strong> When you and your spouse pray together, you don\u2019t just join hands, or even hearts. When you pray, your souls touch. There\u2019s not a stronger bond for cementing your marriage than inviting God into the center of it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n 10. Recognize what Emerson Eggerichs calls \u201cThe 80\/20 Ratio.\u201d<\/strong> His book, Love and Respect, <\/a><\/em>explains it this way. \u201cAccording to this concept, around 80 percent of the time, your marriage can be categorized as good or even great while around 20 percent of the time, you may have troubles of one kind or another. . . . If we do not accept the inevitability of some trouble as part of God\u2019s design (that we will have moments when we feel unloved or disrespected), we may fall for the idea that a marriage should always be the perfect Hollywood romance. And then, when troubles do come, we may conclude that we are not receiving what we deserve.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n A few months ago tropical-storm-force gusts blew through our neighborhood as Hurricane Irma roared by. Four trees went down. Three of them were Bradford Pears. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I don\u2019t have to share recent divorce statistics to warn you \u2013 the danger is real.<\/strong> So whether you\u2019ve been married three weeks or three decades, investing in your relationship now will ensure you and your spouse grow stronger, closer, and more together as time passes. Be an oak, not a Bradford Pear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Allow God\u2019s Word to change your life, one word at a time! Lori Hatcher\u2019s newest book, a 66-day devotional highlights one relevant, sometimes unexpected, word from each book of the Bible. Lori, the best-selling author of Refresh Your Faith<\/em> and Refresh Your Prayers<\/em>, shares simple\u2014but never simplistic\u2014truths. She continues to remind us that every part of Scripture is active, alive, and applicable. <\/p>\n\n\n\n From beginning <\/em>in Genesis to new <\/em>in Revelation, ponder each significant word as you move through your day and allow God to transform your heart and mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Order A Word for Your Day<\/em> from these fine retailers:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Amazon: http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/34t5k7j9<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n Our Daily Bread Publishing: http:\/\/tinyurl.com\/mwwhya9h<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n If your marriage survives its first few years, when do you think the next greatest threat will come? Year seven? Ten? Fifteen? Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The Marriage You\u2019ve Always Wanted, tells us the second highest rate of divorce occurs not in the challenging years of early parenting or even during the time when you\u2019re […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2195,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,82],"tags":[881,880,885,886,883,884,882],"class_list":["post-2194","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christian-living","category-family","tag-10-proven-tips-to-divorce-proof-your-marriage","tag-10-proven-tips-to-keep-your-love-alive","tag-dr-gary-chapman-the-marriage-youve-always-wanted","tag-emerson-eggerich-love-and-respect","tag-empty-nest-marriage-troubles","tag-highest-rate-of-divorce","tag-how-can-i-make-my-marriage-better"],"yoast_head":"\n
If you don\u2019t want to have a Bradford Pear marriage, here are ten proven steps you can take now to ensure you and your spouse grow together, not apart. <\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n10 Tips to Keep Your Love Alive<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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\n\n\n\nWord for Your Day \u2014 66 Devotions to Refresh Your Mind<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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If you\u2019d like to receive Lori\u2019s weekly 5-minute devotions to help you rediscover your passion for God and His Word subscribe HERE<\/a> or at the top of the page.<\/h2>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"