For Better or for Worse<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
I remember the first time I saw my mother-in-law giving my soon-to-be husband a haircut.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI didn\u2019t know you were a beautician,\u201d I said, surprised to see her wielding her scissors like a pro. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m not, but I\u2019ve learned a few things over the years.\u201d She then demonstrated how to give a haircut. \u201cWhen y\u2019all get married,\u201d she said, \u201cyou can cut David\u2019s hair.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Whaaaaaat? <\/p>\n\n\n\n In my family, haircuts were off-limits to amateurs. Only someone with a certificate and a special chair touched our heads. And if they didn\u2019t have a jar of assorted combs soaking in green liquid on their counter top, uh uh, ain\u2019t no way they were lifting a pair of scissors to our locks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s why I knew David\u2019s mother was joking<\/strong>\u2014until our bridal shower.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n After opening a dozen boxes containing cookware, Corning Wear, and underwear (yeah, someone got confused and thought it was a lingerie shower), I peeled the paper off a small, flat package. The box inside said, Professional Hair Cutting Set. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow you won\u2019t have to borrow my tools,\u201d my almost-mother-in-law said with a smile. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Oh my, I thought. She honestly thinks I\u2019m going to give David a haircut. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I carried the gifts home and tucked the hair cutting kit in the bottom of a box. There it lay, forgotten, until about a month after our wedding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLori,\u201d my new husband said, \u201cmy hair\u2019s getting a little shaggy. Would you give me a haircut?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you serious?\u201d I practically screeched. \u201cThe only hair I\u2019ve ever cut was my Barbie\u2019s, and that didn\u2019t turn out so well. I can\u2019t cut your hair. People go to school for years to learn how. What if I make a mistake? There\u2019s no gluing it back on, you know. Remember that school picture from kindergarten when your sister took a pair of scissors to your bangs? Do you really want to go back there?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n But there was no convincing him. His mom always cut his hair, and when I signed the marriage certificate, she passed the mantle to me. The thought of going to a stranger for a haircut was foreign and distasteful to him. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThink about how much money we\u2019ll save,\u201d he reasoned. \u201cI trust you. You can do this.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Keep in mind that these were the days before YouTube. My best hope was to check out a book from the library, study the instructions, and give it my best shot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Some haircuts came out fairly decent. Others not so much. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I had the hardest time figuring out how to keep David\u2019s hair from falling straight down like Mo on the Three Stooges. Several times, as I cut along the neckline and around the ears, I cut a little high, leaving him with whitewalls of scalp that hadn\u2019t seen the sunshine in years. Other times I failed to compensate for the cowlick at his crown, giving him a haircut that would have made Alfalfa proud. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Through it all, my husband was patient, gracious, and encouraging. \u201cYou\u2019ll figure it out. You\u2019re doing a great job.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n Thankfully, most of my mistakes were in the back, where he couldn\u2019t see them. But I could. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Every time I looked at one of those botched haircuts, I cringed. I had made the mistake, but he was wearing it.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n It occurred to me recently that sometimes, in marriage, we wear each other\u2019s shame in other ways. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A husband\u2019s poor social skills embarrass his wife at a work event. A wife\u2019s tinder-box temper erupts at the neighborhood pool, causing her husband to squirm as heads turn. <\/p>\n\n\n\n A person\u2019s impatience, coarse language, or ignorance reflect on their spouses too, because, for better or for worse, they are a couple. <\/p>\n\n\n\n These scenarios remind me that we\u2019re all works in progress. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In progress. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n If we\u2019re believers<\/strong>, the Spirit of God lives in us, gradually conforming us to Christ\u2019s image. But the work takes time. Our path to holiness climbs upward, but isn\u2019t immune to detours and backslides. When those around us behave in less than stellar ways, and we respond with grace, we take a giant step along our own path of Christ-likeness.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n First Corinthians 13:7 reminds us love \u201cbears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n While there are limits to bearing and enduring\u2014no one should remain in a dangerous, abusive relationship, most of us come nowhere near this scenario. The worst we experience are small annoyances that fall short of perfection or cause us embarrassment. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I\u2019m so grateful for Christ, who\u2019s the epitome of patience and kindness. His example challenges me not only to be patient with myself when I act in less-than-godly ways, but to be grateful for my husband, who faithfully bears with me through my spiritual growing pains. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Someday, I pray, he\u2019ll wear my behavior (like my haircuts) with pride, knowing that his long-suffering commitment to my growth in holiness helped make it possible.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n Now it’s your turn. Whom has God used in your life to encourage you in the paths of holiness?<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n Lori here! What do haircuts have to do with holiness? This whimsical account from the early days of marriage will describe how both our haircutting skills and our spiritual maturity are a work in progress. Whether or not you cut your spouse\u2019s hair, I hope you smile (and take stock) of your own growth as […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3224,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_et_pb_use_builder":"off","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,82],"tags":[1340,1208,1336,1339,11,1337,1338],"class_list":["post-3223","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-christian-living","category-family","tag-1-corinthians-137","tag-how-to-grow-in-spiritual-maturity","tag-how-to-help-your-spouse-grow-in-spiritual-maturity","tag-i-get-discouraged-about-my-lack-of-spiritual-growth","tag-lori-hatcher","tag-when-you-embarrass-your-spouse","tag-why-arent-i-growing-in-faith-faster"],"yoast_head":"\nAre You Serious?!<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
And so I did.\u00a0<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Wearing the Other\u2019s Shame<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
Works in Progress<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\n\n\n\nHave you read Lori\u2019s latest book?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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