The man standing on the front porch of our dental office didn’t have to say a word. We knew exactly why he was there, thirty minutes before we were scheduled to open. Pacing. Clutching his cheek. Wiping away tears.
People suffering from abscessed teeth do desperate things to relieve the agony. Remember actor Tom Hanks using an ice skate to extract his abscessed tooth in the movie Castaway? I haven’t witnessed any ice skate extractions, but I have encountered people who have burned their gums with powdered pain relievers, bruised their faces, and drunk themselves into a stupor. One man admitted he’d considered using a Black and Decker drill in his mouth.
I’ve never had an abscessed tooth (praise God), but I have been desperate. I suspect you have, too.
Desperation
I was desperate when my husband lost his job, leaving our young family without income or insurance.
I was desperate when I faced a health crisis with an uncertain outcome, and I was desperate when my marriage struggled under the strain of anger, apathy, and disappointment.
I was desperate when a prodigal child turned their back on God, me, and everything I held dear.
My Greatest Desperation
When I was 18 years old, I experienced my greatest desperation.
On the outside, I had everything that should have made me happy. I’d graduated fourth in my high school class, had a steady boyfriend, and a full-tuition scholarship to the college of my choice.
On the inside, I was miserable. Unexplainably miserable. So miserable that I’d look in the mirror every morning and sob.
When the cloud failed to lift and instead threatened to swallow me, I became desperate. I knew I couldn’t live this way much longer. I had to relieve the pain and begin to heal.
But heal from what?
I’d been attending a Bible-believing church—not because I cared about God, but because I cared about my boyfriend. He attended three times a week, so I did, too. Besides, his ex-girlfriend also attended, and I had to be sure she stayed his ex.
But for all the hours I spent there, nothing in my life changed. I sinned, and it didn’t bother me. I had little interest in the Bible or spiritual pursuits. I served others only when it served my purposes. I was selfish, self-centered, and self-absorbed. And did I mention I was selfish? Oh, my goodness was I selfish. I’d argue with my mom for fifteen minutes over doing a chore that took five.
One Dark Day
On the darkest day of that horribly glorious summer, I stared into the mirror at my red-rimmed eyes and snotty nose and knew something was desperately wrong. I needed help.
But who could I turn to? I couldn’t tell my parents (why, I have no idea, except that I was also prideful). I needed to talk with someone. A counselor. But counselors cost money, and I didn’t have any.
Then a realization struck me. I could talk to my pastor. Pastors are like counselors, right? They listen to people and try to help.
I called the church office and made an appointment for the next afternoon.
I don’t know what I planned to say to my pastor that day, but neither he nor I was prepared for what came out of my mouth.
In the presence of that kind man and in response to his gentle questions, an overwhelming sense of my sinfulness washed over me. I confessed the self-centered attitudes of my heart and the impure actions of my life.
“I’ve been living my life my way,” I sobbed, “and I’ve made a mess of it. I’m making decisions that will impact the rest of my life, and I have no clue what I’m doing. Life is too big and too scary, and I don’t want to be in control anymore.”
With my pastor’s guidance, I surrendered my life to Christ that day. I left his office changed.
Dependent not Desperate
Fear of the future no longer lurked in the shadows of every day. Peace enabled me to sleep at night and awaken joyful. The Holy Spirit inside me began to transform my thoughts and actions. Suddenly, I loved God’s Word, God’s house, and God’s people.
I faced each day dependent on God, not desperate to figure out life on my own.
I now had a Father who promised to love me no matter what, meet my needs, order the days of my life, and, one day, take me home to live with Him forever.
Are You Feeling Desperate Today?
Maybe you’re feeling desperate because you’ve never surrendered yourself—your whole self—to God. Today can be the day.
Seek the Lord. Ask Him to help you understand your sin and your need for His redemption. He’s designed your desperation to help you seek His salvation.
Maybe you’re feeling desperate because you’ve asked Christ to be your Savior, but you’re not following Him. You’ve been living your life your way, and it’s a mess. Surrender it to Him—all of it. Confess your independence and promise to follow Him as He reveals himself to you through His Word and wise counselors. Give Him the broken pieces of your life and trust Him to make something beautiful.
Maybe you desperately want God to work in a situation that seems too big and too ugly for even Him to fix. Trust Him. Pray. Seek wise counsel. Pray some more. Surrender the outcome to His all-wise and all-loving will and faithfully obey what He tells you to do. Don’t lose heart. God is always at work.
Desperation Is a Good Thing
Our dental patient’s desperation was a good thing, because it caused him to seek out someone who could ease his pain and help him heal.
Spiritual desperation is a blessing, too, if it presses us into God. He and only He can ease our pain and help us heal.
If you’re feeling desperate today, run to Jesus. He’s calling you.
This post first appeared on Revive Our Hearts blog.
Lori’s Brand New Book: A Word for Your Day
Are you always on the go, but when it comes to faith, you still want to grow?
In 66 days, refresh your understanding of God’s message in Scripture with one word from each book of the Bible. Starting with Beginning in the book of Genesis and ending with New in Revelation, A Word for Your Day will help you stay in Scripture and bring daily reminders that the entire Bible is active, alive, and applicable today and every day.
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