Why I’m Grateful for My Imperfect Mother

I’m glad I don’t have a perfect mother. 

Can you imagine what it would be like to follow that example?

Instead of perfect, I have an authentic mother – one who did her best and trusted God with the rest.

My mom did a lot of things right. In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I’d list a few.

1. She taught me there’s no shame in just being a mother. 

My mom didn’t go to college. She never dreamed of a career or sought professional recognition. From early on she aspired to be a wife and a mother, and she’s accomplished it gloriously – for more than six decades and counting. 

2. She showed me how to care for others. 

Our family has a long history of looking out for their own. It’s what we do. As a child, Mom saw her godmother care for her mother-in-law for eleven years following a stroke. Mom  took her own mother, my grandmother, into her home until Granny’s health deteriorated and she needed professional attention. 

She babysat countless children, and every one of them wanted to call her Mama. No surprise, really, because she loved them like her own. 

When my first daughter was born, there was no question. Of course she would care for her while I worked part time. Unlike other new mothers who sobbed all the way to work that first day back, it never occurred to me to cry. I knew my newborn was safer in my mother’s arms than in my own. This was one of the greatest gifts of my life. 

As I help meet the needs of my family (including my parents), I seek to follow her example of loyalty, selflessness, and service.

3. She gave me the blessing of security. 

She and Dad stayed married, even when marriage wasn’t fun. It never occurred to me that my parents might split up. Ever. This was a priceless gift of stability in an unstable world. 

I never wondered if she’d be home when I got there. Or if there’d be food in the fridge, clean clothes, and someone to ask about my day. My sisters and I knew what we were having for dinner on any given day because Mom had a meal plan that included seven meals. Spaghetti day was my favorite. Hot dogs and beans not so much.

There was that time when she cooked liver and tried to pass it off as steak, but I’ve forgiven her. Even the greatest can have a momentary lapse in judgment.  

4. She’s loved me well. 

I knew from an early age that my mom thought I was intelligent, creative, and clever. But she didn’t shower me with praise. She was proud of my accomplishments but never pushed. If I’d chosen mediocrity, she would have loved me the same. Knowing this gave me the freedom to achieve without the pressure to do so. 

Sometimes, even now, I catch her bragging a bit about something I’ve accomplished. It makes me glad she has something to say. Every child, 6 or 60, wants to make their parents proud. 

In her imperfect mothering, my mom gave me a gift. Instead of excusing my own faulty attempts, her mothering makes me want to try harder. I know what an impact her influence has had on my life. If I can do as well as she did, I reason, perhaps my daughters and grandchildren will be similarly blessed.

May God’s gracious hand make it so. 

Thank you, God, for bypassing the perfect mom and giving me the perfect mom for me instead. She’s a gift I’ll never take for granted. 

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. I love you! 

“Every good and every perfect gift comes down from above, coming down from the Father of lights” (James 1:17).