There were three empty chairs at m Thanksgiving table in 2010.
Our family lost a brother-in-law, a sister-in-law, and a sister within six months of each other. All three professed to know Christ as their Savior, and this brought us great comfort. As Mary said to Jesus after the death of her brother, Lazarus, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection.”
But it still hurt. And some days, like a phantom pain from a severed limb, it continues to hurt.
I can still hear my sister-in-law Kay’s classic “Bummer!” ringing in my ears when things don’t go my way. My brother-in-law Luther’s traditional dry humor resonates in my memory. Whenever I would ask him how he liked a particular dish, he would declare that it “tastes like chicken.” And the sharing of leftovers is not quite as satisfying without my sister Cindy making the rounds of the buffet table with her red heart plate.
Many of you may be staring at similarly empty chairs around your Thanksgiving table. You have equally quirky memories of times you took for granted with your loved ones, assuming they’d always be with you.
I recently read the account of the death of Lazarus. Brokenhearted with grief, the sisters said to the Lord, “If you had been here, this would not have happened.” Sometimes we feel this way too, that God must have been somewhere else the day our loved ones died.
This holiday season, if you’re missing someone, take comfort from the words of John 11:5, “Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.” Because we know Christ loves us as much as Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, we can be comforted in our grief as well.
While Jesus’ love doesn’t return our precious family members, it brings solace when we miss them. We know their deaths weren’t random acts of cruelty from the hand of an uncaring god. God allowed their deaths, like Lazarus’, to give us a chance to glorify him, even in our sadness.
Especially in our sadness.
When Jesus heard of Lazarus’ sickness, He said, “. . . it is for God’s glory, so that God’s Son may be glorified through it” (John 11:4).
Take comfort this holiday season. God loves you very much.
And remember that one Christmas long ago, God loved us so much that he had an empty seat at his table on Christmas day.
“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
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Oh Lori. We just met together with my dad’s side of the family Saturday. First big holiday without my grandpa. As you described the things you miss about each person the tears filled my eyes. Thank you for this reminder. And if you haven’t heard the song, Wonderful, by Cain, please look it up.
Oh my, Christy, yes. A holiday gathering without GRandpa? THat’s a big hole. I grieve my grandfather still, even though he died before I was born. I guess I grieve the “what could have been’s.” Grief wears many faces, and they’re all sad. Where would we be without “the Man of Sorrows” to carry our pain?
What a beautiful post. Thanksgiving has never been the same since my parents passed. It’s still a lovely holiday, but Thanksgiving at their house was truly special. When I miss them on Thursday, I’ll comfort my heart with these words: “’Jesus loved Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.’ Because we know Christ loves us as much as Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, we can be comforted in our grief as well.”
Oh my, Jean, where would we be without the comfort of God’s love? Hopeless and helpless indeed. . .
What a comforting post Ms. Lori; and much needed as we enter this holiday season. My family also found reason to grieve this year, with some grieving that seems to come as CHRISTmas approaches each year. What solace is found though in knowing that we are closer with each passing day to being rejoined in glory with those who have preceded us there. I found comfort in your words this day, providing me a reprieve from the grieving I always seem to encounter this time of year. God’s blessings.
It’s a tug of war, isn’t it, J.D., the pull between the joy of the holidays and the ache of missing those we love who should be gathered with us. May God grant you comfort today, friend.
Lori, what a beautiful hope-giving post. The first few Thanksgivings after my mom died were so hard. God reminded me to thank Him for sweet memories and the joys of current blessings.
Yes, they are, Jeannie. The first few are the worst, and though the sting eases, the ache remains. Holidays seem to magnify grief.
Yes, there is an empty chair at our table this year. And there’s coming home to an empty house, wondering how to fix things that break, and just the need to hear their voice or share a hug, just once more. Our Lord is the great Comforter and we have the promise that we will be with Him and our loved ones. There is present pain, but there is hope.
Oh, Katherine, I’m so sorry. Such a deep and life-changing loss. My prayers are with you especially during this holiday season. I’m so glad we sorrow not as those who have no hope. Sending a hug today.