Have you ever wondered if the voice you heard in your head is God’s or yours? Me too. A recent argument with my husband raised the question yet again.
When I went to bed that night, I knew who was right—I was. And there was no need to ask God about it.
When I awakened the next morning, I wasn’t so sure.
The conversation with my husband went over the cliff before I even realized it had changed direction. One minute my husband and I were brainstorming ways to fix a problem, and the next minute we were exchanging angry words. He stomped off to bed, and I stayed up and stewed.
Horizontal or vertical, I’m confident we were both rehearsing how right we were and how wrong the other was.
Why didn’t she just look up the information when I asked her to? She doesn’t listen, just goes off and does what she wants to do without listening to me.
Why couldn’t he just wait patiently? I was on to something. Just a few more clicks, and I’d have had the information we needed.
I considered sleeping in the guest bedroom, but wasn’t willing to give up my comfy bed to make a point. But you’d better believe I stayed waaaaay over on my side when I did come to bed.
Lord, I prayed silently as I clung to the edge of the mattress, pride is an ugly thing. Please help him realize he was wrong, and make him apologize for his unkind words. I don’t want us to spend tomorrow at odds with each other. Then I finished with a sincere but skeptical request: And if I was at fault in any way, please reveal this to me. Amen.
The next morning, the strangest thing happened. When the alarm sounded on my iPhone, I heard God’s voice. And it didn’t sound like Siri.
I’ve always loved the story in 1 Samuel 3, where God awakened the boy Samuel out of a sound sleep by audibly calling his name. But that’s not what happened to me. Instead, God spoke two sentences into my barely-awake consciousness: I’m sorry I was slow to look up the information you asked for. Will you please forgive me?
As the words echoed in my mind, I knew the Lord had given me the words to speak. How did I know?
4 Simple Clues to Know It’s God’s Voice You’re Hearing
- The words were true. While I wasn’t totally at fault in the argument, I did have a part in it.
- The words were a direct answer to the prayer I’d prayed before I fell asleep.
- The words did not originate with me. When I’d gone to bed the night before, I was still convinced that I was all right, and he was all wrong. Those two sentences had to have come from God.
- To say those words to my husband, I’d have to humble myself and take the first step toward reconciliation. Since this was the last thing my sinful flesh wanted to do, I was confident it was God’s idea, not mine.
Two Choices
Once I realized I’d heard from God, I knew I had two choices: obey or disobey.
“Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.”
James 4:17
I’d like to say I always obey, but I’d be lying. That day, however, I did what the Lord told me to do. As soon as my husband opened his eyes, I said the words God had planted into my brain.
“I’m sorry I was slow to look up the information you asked for. Will you forgive me?”
“I’m sorry I was grumpy with you. I was sleepy and impatient.”
Kiss. Kiss. Hug. Hug. All was well again.
I Don’t Always Obey
Not all our arguments end so peacefully. Sometimes I hold on to my stubborn, sinful, self-righteousness and refuse to invite God into the strife. I fail to ask God to show me where I was wrong and focus instead on someone else’s sin or my own perceived innocence.
But when I do pray and ask God to glorify himself, even in our arguments, I give him permission to work. Sometimes he speaks to me through his Word, sometimes through wise counsel, and sometimes, if I’m willing to listen, he speaks through the still, small voice of his Holy Spirit.
If you’re in the middle of a conflict with someone, I invite you to pray about it. Watch to see how he answers. Be quick to obey what he tells you to do. You won’t regret it.
What about you? How has the Lord spoken to you during times of conflict? I’d love to hear your story. Leave a comment below, or, if you’re reading by email, click here to leave a comment online.
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Great post Lori! I’m sure everyone can relate to this and benefit from your suggestions and encouragement.
The first time I ever heard the Lord’s voice was in a situation much like yours. My husband wanted to build a big house out in the country. I was sure it was better (as in good vs evil better) to stay where we were. As a brand new believer, I prayed about it. To be honest, I probably asked God to show me how to prove I was right. But instead He said, “Shut up and do what he says.” God is always right, even if it takes many years for me to realize why he does what he does.
Wow, what a great story, Jeanne. I love how God confirms His will to us as we honor Him. Thanks for sharing today.
Lori, your willingness to share this incident teaches important principles about forgiveness and obedience. Both are required. When I’m angry with my husband, the Holy Spirit allows no room for harboring unforgiveness and often tells me the first move is mine. I’m reluctant at times and wish he’d see it my way. Even when we are technically correct in the argument, God calls us to forgive. Your inclusion of James 4:17 leaves no doubt about our response when we hear from God. Thank you , Lori. I hope I remember your story and God’s command the next time we disagree.
Oh yes, Jeannie, the hardest thing about an argument is being the first one to take ownership of our part in the conflict. Pride is so strong. But Scripture tells us God resists the proud, and I sure don’t want God to resist me. What a terrifying thought! Thank you for sharing your story with us so we can learn from it today.
To say I am in the middle of a conflict sounds ominous, but that is an accurate description! Changing seasons find me transitioning from less of a spouse and more of a caregiver. A place I never imagined! I am learning to be unoffendable, though, and my go-to verse is Col. 3:13 “Make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.”
Thanks for your transparency. We are all in this together.
What a beautiful verse to claim as your guiding principle, Sharon. What a gift from God to help direct you. God will empower and enable you as you serve your husband in Jesus’ name. “As much as you’ve done it to the least of these my brother, you’ve done it unto me.” Praying for you today, my friend.
Lori, how I can identify with your experience. I am not always quick to change my ways either, but when we do we are so blessed. Thanks for showing us that we all have these feelings and conflicts. The answer is to take them to God and be willing to listen to His voice, repent if we need to, and then correct the problem.
Amen, Barbara. I agree. Just being willing to pray, “Lord, search MY heart for any sin,” is, many times, the first step toward resolution. THanks for chiming in today.
This sounded so like my husband and me, sometimes! I appreciate your honesty about the event and your insight that “when I do pray and ask God to glorify himself, even in our arguments, I give him permission to work.” Thank you, Lori!
Thank you for joining the guilty-as-charged club, Kathy. I’m so glad that owning up to and confessing our sin is the first step in true transformation. THanks for chiming in today. May God bless you and your marriage!